I hate how I can be reduced to a quivering, terrified mess at the mere mention of certain topics. And not the good sort of quivering, terrified mess either.
Ever since M became my Dominant, he has been helping me get over certain things in my past that have interfered with my ability to submit to him. Occasionally, he asks me certain questions in order to get a better idea of particular areas of my past. However, in doing so, this often brings up painful memories for me…memories which sometimes I’d rather not exist…memories that for some reason frighten the life out this little kitten…
Tonight was one of these occasions. M asked me a few questions on the phone earlier that caused me to panic almost…I still answered of course…but I hate how certain memories have such a hold over me. And how memories that were previously unrelated suddenly seem so very threatening. It’s horrible…
Don’t get me wrong, I really, really appreciate that my Dominant is helping me get over those memories of the past that haunt me. It’s just it can be so frightening at times when you have flashbacks of things you never want to remember…
Luckily M had already anticipated that I would need lots of comfort afterwards. M is a very affectionate, loving and understanding Dominant so he has no problem with giving me the comfort I need. I love that he is still so loving and caring as my Dominant, and that he shows it too. I know that if I was with him right now, he’d be giving me lots and lots of snuggles. Might sound rather un-Domly of him but I honestly don’t care. And neither does he. That man can snuggle I tell you! Besides, there are still ways to snuggle that still make me feel owned by him 🙂
Oh and about the memories, I just thought of a quote that I think is very true. I think you’ll approve M 🙂
“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it.” – Rafiki, The Lion King
I love you Dominant…
A kitten bound by love 