Training and future planning

I now have a training regime to follow. It was M’s idea – he proposed the idea to me last week and I thought it might be interesting to give it a go so after a bit of discussion, we decided on a regime that incorporates exercise and D/s training. So some form of exercise is on there everyday apart from Sunday, and the D/s side of things includes things like a weekly inspection, using my butt plug, using my Ben Wa balls, deepthroat training, one thong day a week… All this will start next week when we’re back at uni.

I’m not sure how this will turn out. I like the idea of it and I think it could potentially work very well – I seem to lack the self-motivation to go to the gym regularly and M has promised me much punishment if I fail to do any of the things in my weekly regime without a good reason e.g. illness, so on that front it might work out quite well. I’m just worried that work will get in the way of following through with my new regime and vice-versa. I mean, there’s only so much time in a day and we already always have so much work…

I really do like the idea though. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Perhaps some changes will need to be made as we give the regime a test run.

M and I also have to decide on what to do about my collar come September. From September, M and I will no longer be in the same city and additionally, our work placements start then. This wouldn’t be a problem if my arms didn’t have to be completely bare below the elbows when on placement. My collar is a silver bracelet. See, problem. Not allowed hand or wrist jewellery. We’re thinking of getting a necklace – but the thing is, it would still have to be a fairly unobtrusive necklace… An anklet is another idea but I would always be worried it would come off…not really sure what to do. It doesn’t feel right having to replace my collar with something else…don’t wanna 😦 grouchy. I could just take it off whenever I’m on placement…which would be 3 days a week from what I’ve heard from the upper years. Hmm…decisions decisions.

I also hate the idea of being away from M come September. Even if we’re only going to be an hour away from each other, he’s still going to be in a different city. And yes, I know, we’ll text and phone and skype each other, and we’ll still see each other every fortnight or so but still. After almost (by that point) 2 years of being able to see each other everyday and sleeping together most nights (no matter how much we say, “oh we’ll sleep apart tonight, really tired, have to get a good night’s sleep”), going long-distance is going to be strange. I have no doubt in my mind that we’ll get through it – one of my friends has already said that he’s sure we’ll manage it, we have “good foundations” apparently haha. It’s just annoying. I guess if we can get through the next two, potentially three years long-distance then we can handle anything…

I find it a little odd to be planning so long-term…it’s like I’ve suddenly realised that I’m and adult, and I’m grown up now. A lot of things have reinforced this to me lately – one of my close friends has just gotten engaged to his girlfriend, he’s the first one out of our group of friends…a girl I used to know in primary school just gave birth to her first child…

It’s odd. I’m an adult. I’m starting to think about career plans. Starting to think about slightly longer-term relationship plans with M – it’s no longer “when are we next going out for dinner?”, in September it’ll be “when will we see each other this year?” “do you want to spend the holidays with me and my family?” “shall I swap localities to be with you in 5th year?” M might disagree with me…hopefully he won’t be outright freaked out by this long-term talk but it’s sorta the way I see it sometimes, whether he likes it or not.

Still, I’m not all grown-up just yet. Afterall, I did overdo it with the ice cream yesterday at a buffet and spent the next three hours bouncing off the walls giggling hysterically, much to my friends’ amusement. Aaand I might have sent M cheeky texts saying “I’ve had too much white stuff! ;)”

Oops.

Collar!

Well, it’s been a busy few weeks for M and I so unfortunately, D/s took a little bit of a back seat for us as we were both running around so much we just weren’t in the right frame of mind or really had the time to have a proper play session. I was in a bit of a weird mood regarding submission either way – wasn’t quite sure what I wanted but didn’t have the time to explore with M what was going on in my head and then real life kicked in with a vengeance.

However, all that has changed now – as a Valentine’s gift to me, M got me a play collar!

Isn’t it pretty?! The photo makes it look slightly purply in colour but it’s actually a nice shade of baby pink. “To match your butt plug” said M. Guess that means I’ll be wearing those two together and nothing else sometime soon… 😀 it’s quite comfy too, not too tight even on the tightest hole and adjustable as well. From what we can tell so far, it seems quite sturdy too which is good.

We gave it a quick try earlier, just whilst having sex and it was amazing! M had me close my eyes whilst he buckled it on me and the feeling of anticipation I had was almost too much…I was wet and turned on just from the feeling of M putting it on me! He only used it to tug my head wherever he wanted it today but he hinted that he may be using it to tether me to places and keep me restricted to a certain area, especially if I’ve been naughty…

It’s living in one of his drawers at the moment – maybe that means he’ll surprise me with it when we play…I do hope so…I like surprises :p I have a lovely mental image of me kneeling by M’s feet, naked, whilst he’s in a suit/smart clothes and then him taking the collar out of his pocket and putting it on me, caressing me softly once it’s on…

I wonder what inventive/creative ways to use the collar M will come up with…

Reflections on the year…

Firstly, I am sososososo sorry I haven’t blogged! I did warn you guys though…but M feels that an apology is in order for not keeping you guys updated on things. So, I am very sorry. When M learnt that I hadn’t blogged for over two weeks, he wasn’t exactly pleased. As a consequence, my butt cheeks were rather stingy this morning… And now, that same arse is currently being filled with my butt plug. Oh M does like to torture me…He knows I’ll find it difficult to work now. Clever, very clever…

So, Friday was mine and M’s one year anniversary with each other. We went out for a lovely meal in the evening. He got me a charm for my bracelet/collar – it was a little silver cat! I love it so much. I got him a DVD he wanted, a book and some homemade chocolate truffles. There was a little domination as well as lots of cuddling and snuggling in bed afterwards.

Recently, I have felt that M is really growing into his role as my Dominant – he has been expecting more of me as a submissive and hasn’t really needed much prompting lately. It’s allowed me to relax a lot more as a submissive I think. I don’t mind teaching M about things he isn’t sure about or doesn’t know much about but it’s nice to really let him take the lead. The change from a completely vanilla boyfriend to being a Dominant in the bedroom has suited M I think. He definitely enjoys his time dominating me anyway :p

It’s been an interesting year with M. I can barely remember our initial conversations about BDSM when I first told him that I am a submissive. I do remember trying to explain exactly what that meant, but you can never really quite capture what it means, what it feels like, in words can you? And M didn’t understand much in the beginning. But I am incredibly glad that he was open to trying new things and accepted me wholeheartedly. In fact, it is he who has to remind me now that he loves me for all of who I am, whenever I get embarrassed about my reactions to him calling me slut and whore, and whispering those naughty, dark fantasies in my ear whilst he fucks me hard…

I love it when he uses me roughly, or when he is insistent with his commands even if I am a little reluctant to submit because I’m tired or I’m not in the mood…I always seem to end up enjoying it and asking for more…and I know I am always safe with him, so I know he won’t push me too far if I’m really not up to it.

I’ve also gotten past a lot of my fears [from last year (see note at bottom)] with M…I no longer flinch away from him if he makes sudden movements – obviously, I do still get startled like any other person, but it’s no longer disproportionate to the action. I no longer flinch when he calls me “slut” – I am his kitten, his submissive, and his only. I no longer flinch at the belt – in fact, in the last two weeks, I’ve asked him to whip me with it on several occasions. I no longer panic when M backs me into a corner  – I feel secure in an odd way.

However, there is still one thing which I haven’t quite gotten over. I’m still a little shaky when M takes me hard doggy-style. It just doesn’t feel intimate and I guess that’s part of the problem. I want to work on it with M and get over it, but I’m not too sure where to start…perhaps M will have some ideas…

I am incredibly happy to be with M and hope that we have many many more happy anniversaries to come. In eight months time, M and I will become a long-distance relationship due to the demands of our university course. I can’t say I like the idea but it was a conscious decision on our part. However, I know that we will be strong enough to cope with it. We will be supported by our friends I’m sure, and we’ll only be an hour away from each other so we’ll get to see each other often.

I love you M x

A playful day (Weekend part 3)

On Sunday morning, I once again woke up to M quietly entering my room and sliding into bed next to me, pulling me close to him so we were spooning. I love that feeling of being not quite awake, but aware enough to know your Dominant/bf is snuggling you and that you’re safe…

Once we had woken up properly, we moved into his room intending to make love. However, neither of us realised that I was so incredibly sore and swollen up down there that any penetration was impossible without me almost crying in pain. So we just decided to snuggle naked in the end. Breakfast was an interesting affair…Sir had me wear one of his shirts down to the kitchen with nothing else on underneath. Needless to say, I felt very exposed and subby but loved at the same time. Odd how certain things can do that to me.

As we returned upstairs, M ordered me to grab the lube, go into his room and wait for him when I had finished in the bathroom. When I entered, he was already sitting on the bed waiting for me. Settling me on his lap, he said to me mock seriously, “Now, I believe you’ve been a bad kitten during the time we’ve been apart haven’t you?”

I widened my eyes and looked guiltily around the room.

“Kitten?”

“Hehe?” I peeked up at him, trying my best to smile innocently.

” ‘Hehe’ indeed. Hmm. I think you need to be punished for being so cheeky.” Despite his playful tone, he pushed me roughly over his knee and spanked me hard. I gasped and shifted a little on his lap. Several more smacks followed in the same place in quick succession. I could feel my left butt cheek starting to sting a little.

“Hmm do you think you need more punishment than this?”

“Yes please.” I replied a little breathlessly.

Smack smack smack smack smack. My other butt cheek started to sting a little now. I couldn’t help but moan at the sensations.

“Does my slut want more?”

I nodded.

“Alright. Shirt off. Now.”

When I stood naked before him, he had me kneel down between his knees and take him in my mouth. He grasped my hair and used it to move my head back and forth on his cock whilst I licked and sucked as best as I could. He then started pushing my head further and further down onto his cock, telling me to take as much of it as I could. I relaxed my throat and for the first time, I managed to take his entire length down my throat without gagging. After a moment, he let me back up and kissed me on the lips.

“Lube yourself up. Make my pussy wet for me so I can take you again.”

I did as he bid, even though it had hurt so much earlier. With the lube, I felt only a little pain as I slid onto him and started riding him.

I find myself amazed sometimes at how much M can make me cum sometimes – I cum almost every time he takes me, and Sunday morning was no exception. Even with the slight amount of pain, he made me cum hard.

As we lay there afterwards, M said that he wasn’t going to push me any further this weekend as I was leaving that night and he didn’t want me to drop too badly (if I did) when he wouldn’t be able to take care of me. I agreed although I whined at the thought of having to leave M again…He hushed me gently and comforted me by reminding me it was only three weeks before we would see each other again and not five like this time.

After lunch, I dosed myself up on antihistamines and ibuprofen – the former as we were about to go for a walk in the woods with M’s dog and the latter for my sore pussy. The walk itself was fun, even if it was really hot outside. M also clipped his dog’s lead onto my collar briefly and tugged me along playfully. We’re thinking of getting me a play collar to go around my neck and a lead to go with it so M can lead me around sometimes 🙂

There is not much more to tell…we spent the afternoon relaxing and snuggling as much as possible, knowing that I would have to leave again that evening.

It really was a wonderful weekend, all I’d hoped it to be and more…I can’t wait to see M again.

Thank you for an amazing weekend M. I love you so much x