Well it’s been a long while since I last posted. I blame it on real life interfering and to be honest I just didn’t have the will to write anything really.
M and I are still going strong and our relationship has been progressing and is as strong as ever. Next [academic] year, starting in September will see us in a long-distance relationship (sort of. does living an hour and 20 minutes away from each other count?) so we have been preparing ourselves for that. We’re currently hoping to see each other once a fortnight and we’ve been discussing things that we can do whilst apart to the D/s alive. So far, we’ve decided that I will have a certain number of tasks to do each week, all based on a certain theme, and failure to complete all of those tasks will result in punishment (involving clothes pegs and a naughty corner… 😦 )
Hopefully, we’ll both be busy with lots to do and so we won’t miss each other so much – M has rugby to keep him occupied outside of uni and I’ll have archery and going to the gym to keep me occupied. But it’s those dark nights alone and the weekends when there aren’t many people around that worry me…those are the times when you start thinking too much and start yourself off on a downwards spiral of loneliness…
But, we’ll pull through. I’m certain we will.
Being hundreds of miles away from M currently, I am becoming all too well acquainted with the word alone. Although I know it is not permanent and we’ll be together again come September, along with a few trips to see each other in between, it is hard to stomach at times. I’m sure a lot of subs will agree with me when I say being separated from one’s Dominant can be incredibly hard and at times, possibly debilitating.
In the past when I have been separated from M (or any other Dominant I had the pleasure of submitting to at that time), I have to say I haven’t coped terribly well. I would pine and leap on my phone the minute it buzzed only to be disappointed when I realise the incoming text/call isn’t from my beloved Dominant. It’s always at its worst when I am idle, I have found. Having nothing to do all day sets my mind whirling with all the thoughts of how much I miss M and all the things we normally do together…or if I haven’t heard from him in a while, I start going through all the different reasons why that could be and generally get myself worked up and upset about it.
I feel lucky that M understands this part about me very well, and so each time we part, he lends me one of his shirts to keep for the whole time we are apart. He also sprays it with his…aftershave (he gets upset if I call it man-perfume 😀 ) so I can smell him whenever I want and pretend he is with me. It helps tremendously. We skype as often as we can, though because of his work this summer, it means that we can only do so at the weekends, though he still texts and rings me whenever he can to see if I’m ok…oh and to order me to do certain naughty things of course 😉
Other things I use to cope with being without him are keeping myself busy by seeing friends or spending time with family, curling up in bed with M’s shirt at night when I go to sleep, remembering all the different memories of times we’ve spent together and wrapping myself up in them, remembering that I am still his kitten even when we’re apart… When things get too much, I have two friends I seek out to try and make myself feel a bit better: one is a fellow sub like me and the other is a Dominant friend who isn’t in the lifestyle (at least I don’t think so! but then again I could be wrong 🙂 ) but someone who I think would actually make a great Dom.
Key thing is to keep yourself occupied I think and make regular contact with your Dominant…arrange a particular time to call or skype without distractions. I myself can’t wait to see M next weekend and catch up on a month’s worth of naughty activities 😉