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Reflections on the year…

Firstly, I am sososososo sorry I haven’t blogged! I did warn you guys though…but M feels that an apology is in order for not keeping you guys updated on things. So, I am very sorry. When M learnt that I hadn’t blogged for over two weeks, he wasn’t exactly pleased. As a consequence, my butt cheeks were rather stingy this morning… And now, that same arse is currently being filled with my butt plug. Oh M does like to torture me…He knows I’ll find it difficult to work now. Clever, very clever…

So, Friday was mine and M’s one year anniversary with each other. We went out for a lovely meal in the evening. He got me a charm for my bracelet/collar – it was a little silver cat! I love it so much. I got him a DVD he wanted, a book and some homemade chocolate truffles. There was a little domination as well as lots of cuddling and snuggling in bed afterwards.

Recently, I have felt that M is really growing into his role as my Dominant – he has been expecting more of me as a submissive and hasn’t really needed much prompting lately. It’s allowed me to relax a lot more as a submissive I think. I don’t mind teaching M about things he isn’t sure about or doesn’t know much about but it’s nice to really let him take the lead. The change from a completely vanilla boyfriend to being a Dominant in the bedroom has suited M I think. He definitely enjoys his time dominating me anyway :p

It’s been an interesting year with M. I can barely remember our initial conversations about BDSM when I first told him that I am a submissive. I do remember trying to explain exactly what that meant, but you can never really quite capture what it means, what it feels like, in words can you? And M didn’t understand much in the beginning. But I am incredibly glad that he was open to trying new things and accepted me wholeheartedly. In fact, it is he who has to remind me now that he loves me for all of who I am, whenever I get embarrassed about my reactions to him calling me slut and whore, and whispering those naughty, dark fantasies in my ear whilst he fucks me hard…

I love it when he uses me roughly, or when he is insistent with his commands even if I am a little reluctant to submit because I’m tired or I’m not in the mood…I always seem to end up enjoying it and asking for more…and I know I am always safe with him, so I know he won’t push me too far if I’m really not up to it.

I’ve also gotten past a lot of my fears [from last year (see note at bottom)] with M…I no longer flinch away from him if he makes sudden movements – obviously, I do still get startled like any other person, but it’s no longer disproportionate to the action. I no longer flinch when he calls me “slut” – I am his kitten, his submissive, and his only. I no longer flinch at the belt – in fact, in the last two weeks, I’ve asked him to whip me with it on several occasions. I no longer panic when M backs me into a corner  – I feel secure in an odd way.

However, there is still one thing which I haven’t quite gotten over. I’m still a little shaky when M takes me hard doggy-style. It just doesn’t feel intimate and I guess that’s part of the problem. I want to work on it with M and get over it, but I’m not too sure where to start…perhaps M will have some ideas…

I am incredibly happy to be with M and hope that we have many many more happy anniversaries to come. In eight months time, M and I will become a long-distance relationship due to the demands of our university course. I can’t say I like the idea but it was a conscious decision on our part. However, I know that we will be strong enough to cope with it. We will be supported by our friends I’m sure, and we’ll only be an hour away from each other so we’ll get to see each other often.

I love you M x

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Hormones…

Don’t you just love them?! Ugh. Was NOT a happy kitty yesterday. Kept getting upset and annoyed at the littlest things. Was missing M a lot even though I know I’ll be seeing him on Sunday. PMS and all that jazz sucks. Didn’t help that I got woken up early by the tiler coming in to do the kitchen. He sings. Loudly. I guess he’s not actually that bad a singer…just has a poor choice in songs!

The mother also kept annoying me – I mean, I love her and all but she can be really annoying sometimes; kept interrupting me when I was on the phone to M. Ruined my peaceful subby mood 😦 luckily M knew I was feeling emotional and annoyed (and probably bordering on hysterical at points if I’m honest) and took control quickly before I threw a tantrum (I feel like a badly behaved, whiney child when I’m PMS-ing I swear!)

He shushed me and had me breathe deeply for a while.

“Breathe kitten…focus on me. Focus on me and nothing else. No…just me. No it’s not all ruined. Give yourself over to me. Ignore her. Just focus and breathe…”

We’ve used this technique before when I have flashbacks about last October (see note in italics at the end of that post) but I have to say it’s never worked as well as it did last night. I suppose the flashbacks are a lot scarier than my mother annoying me though…Anyway, the breathing technique worked! I felt all calm and kitteny afterwards and very comforted…I did have my nose buried into the shirt M had sprayed with his scent and given to me though, which probably helped a lot. I was completely focussed on M. Nothing else mattered.

We spoke on for a little while longer, and when Sir found out that I would have the house to myself for a few hours he issued a few orders for me to follow.

“After you have dinner, you are to go to the bathroom and give yourself a quick clean all over – and I mean everywhere. Then you are to run a bath and put your butt plug in. You are to then get youself off as many times as you can whilst you soak in the bath. You must soak for at least half an hour and you must play with yourself contantly. The butt plug isn’t to come out until you finish your bath.”

Yes Sir. After putting the phone down, I hurried round the house to do as he told. I took a quick shower and as I waited for the bath to fill afterwards, I bent over the side of the tub and slid the plug into my arse. Oh it felt good. Settling down into the hot water, I shifted for a while, trying to find a position that didn’t force the plug into a painful position. I started touching and rubbing my clit under the water, flicking it a little. I grabbed the vibrator I’d taken into the bathroom with me and slid it into me efortlessly. Soon, water was splashing everywhere as my attempts to cum became more frantic. Finally reaching my peak, I relaxed bonelessly in the water for a minute, letting the warmth soothe me. However, as I sat up to check the time, I realised I was still shaking. Whimpering a little, I started to slide the vibrator into me once more but I couldn’t stop shaking. In the end I settled for playing with my clit and caressing myself under the water.

When I was out of the bath and dry, M got me to ring him again and asked me to tell him what happened. He ordered me to finger myself  again to get my finger wet and then told me to re-draw the ‘M’s he had placed over my pussy and my heart three weeks ago. He then praised me for being his very good kitten and obeying him, giving myself over to him…

I spent the rest of the night snuggled up in his hoodie, perfectly content in the knowledge that I was his completely…

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Bittersweet train journey (Weekend part 1)

So I just had the most amazing weekend ever. But as they say, all good things come to an end, and I am on the train home from M’s now. However, my pussy is nice and sore from being filled so much in the last three days, and I am pretty much purring in satisfaction and content.

Here is my account of the weekend. It will be split up into 3 parts most likely as there is too much to tell. However, my memory is a little hazy in places (probably because I have been pushed further than ever before by M, and I still haven’t quite come down from the high yet…), so forgive me if some details seem brief.

On Friday night, M took me hard and fast, making me ride him roughly as we were so desperate to feel each other after five weeks of not seeing each other…after we had both cum, he decided to inspect me properly as I had proposed the idea to him the other day.

He sat me down sideways on his lap and lifted my head up, turning it this way and that, peering at me closely. He said nothing to me, apart from the occasional, barely audible “hmm”s. Trailing his hands down to my neck, he stroked softly for a few moments before pushing me a little to get me to stand up. I could feel his hands stroking my back, going further down before resting on my arse and squeezing a little. Turning me around, he ghosted his hands over my breasts, before taking my nipples in his fingers and pinching them, squeezing my breasts roughly. His hands carried on their journey, skipping over my pussy saying “I shall inspect that properly in a moment” and running down each of my legs instead. After running his hands over every inch of my legs, he returned to my pussy, bidding me to lie down on the bed with my legs spread. As he probed and explored and tasted his bare pussy, I wriggled a little at the sensations.

Finally concluding his inspection, he sat back down on the bed beside me. Hesitantly, I asked what he thought.

“Hmm…you have a beautiful face, especially your pretty eyes. Your breasts are very nice and squeezable. Your legs are just so soft and smooth and your arse is just so spankable. My pussy is so wet and tight for me. I smiled shyly at his praise and cuddled closer to him.

After that, he wanted to try out my new butt plug on me so I obediently bent over the bed and let him push the plug into me, before taking me again…

The next morning, I had the pleasure of waking up to M sliding into bed with me to snuggle me. That morning we made love, gently and softly, whispering our love for each other whilst we moved together, gradually speeding up before those whispers turned to whimpers and then into soft cries of release…

However, I was still quite worked up and wanted more and begged M to let me use the butt plug on myself. He agreed and let me lube up the plug and slide it into myself…I love that feeling of being full. I moaned and whimpered, wriggling around slightly whilst M smirked at me.

“Feel good?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I moaned an affirmative. M promptly turned me over his lap and landed a stinging blow to my butt cheek. I moaned even more at this.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

“I wonder what will happen if I spank here?” I felt my plug being played with and whimpered.

SLAP.

I squealed at the impact as it drove the plug deeper into me momentarily.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

Tugging me upright once more, Sir plunged his fingers into me and started fucking me with them.

“What do you want, kitten?”

“M-may I get myself off on your knee?”

Withdrawing his fingers slowly, he voiced an affirmative.

“Go on then kitten, grind yourself, get yourself off on my knee.”

I whimpered as I did so and moaned when he encouraged me.

“Go on slut, I can see you’re almost there, go on…”

When I finally came, I bucked against his knee and collapsed against him. M gathered me up into his arms and lay me down on his bed, cradling me to his chest, praising me softly.

At some point that morning, Sir also marked me. It wasn’t visible to anyone else but it made me feel so loved and wanted as a submissive…He dipped his fingers into his pussy to get them wet and drew an ‘M’ on it. Repeating the action, he drew on another ‘M’ on the right side of my left breast. He finally drew a third ‘M’ on my forehead, saying that he’d drawn one there because all of my thoughts belong to him as well. I nodded and snuggled closer to him. Then I said “my right boob feels a little left out now” as he had not drawn one there to match my left. He looked me in the eyes and said “I wasn’t drawing on your boob.” Needless to say, I was a little speechless and very touched to hear that he considers my heart to be his…I already knew it of course, but it’s nice to have evidence sometimes ^^ gooey kitten. That definitely merited more snuggles.

We spent the rest of the day pottering around the house and garden, as well as nipping out to the shops to get a few things. We also went out for dinner to a lovely little Thai restaurant and I wore the dress M got for me when he was on holiday in Rhodes 🙂

Now, after dinner when we got back home was interesting… TBC

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kitten has a new toy!

Wow. That was quite an experience. Right now, I am currently sitting here blogging…with a butt plug in my arse!

And how did I end up in this situation? Well…Sir gave orders that I was to buy or order a butt plug by Saturday as I have been thinking of getting one for some time now. So, being a dutiful kitten, I went into town and bought myself one. It’s pink!

Tonight, M ordered me to try it out…so with a little trepidation I took it out of its packaging, gave it a good wash and lubed it up… Pulling down my knickers, I bent myself over the dresser and slowly pushed the tip into me…I could feel it slowly but firmly stretching my arse, going in further and further until it could go in no more and popped into place. It felt exquisite…if I’d known how good it felt I would have invested in one earlier! I immediately asked Sir if I was allowed to cum – he said yes but he wanted me to use my vibrator on His pussy at the same time. Well. I slid my silver vibrator into my already wet pussy and thrust it in and out of me quickly…however, this wasn’t enough and after pulling it back out, I started using my fingers to thrust in and out whilst rubbing my clit at the same time. I could feel the pressure building quickly until it eventually exploded as I came, long and hard, this kitten’s pussy clenching around her own fingers…

After I’d recovered somewhat, I messaged M again, and although he had to go, he left me with my orders for the night: 1) I was to blog straight away; 2) I am allowed to cum again if I want to but both my vibrator and butt plug must be in use; and 3) I am to sleep naked tonight… *shivers* if it was this good tonight by myself, I can’t wait until I see him again and he can use the plug on me himself… Floating right now….

And I shall now leave you with a photo of my new toy 😉 after all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Image

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