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Guest Post by M

I asked M if he would do a guest post for me on my blog about Saturday night’s events and last October’s event which triggered those feelings. He agreed, so here is his post. It is unedited, save for the odd spelling/grammar mistake which I have corrected.

October. I didn’t find out about October until about November, maybe early December. I felt several things: rage, concern, worry, sympathy. Since then I have been trying to tease out the details of that night. To also add to what my kitten has said concerning H, the reason why I call her slut is that her submissive name that he called her was slut (whereas I call her kitten).

Saturday.

It started off in the room kitten was staying in. After a brief phonecall, she suddenly turned around and started growling at me. She then proceeded to try and pin me down at which I let it go so far, before forcing her up above me and then down onto the bed. We then moved to my room where the same happened. Safe to say kitten has a very short term memory.

At this point, I would like to point out how kitten has different levels of submission. Before I make kitten give over all control, I always ask her if she wants it first. As she said yes, she also asked that I call her slut. I obliged, telling her to hike up her dress and get on my cock. I started calling her slut. I also started asking kitten a series of questions; questions forcing her to submit to me and give over every part of herself. Whilst doing this, I asked a question I instantly regretted.

“No one else has any hold over you do they, not even if H calls you slut?”

kitten instantly flinched badly and almost collapsed into me. As she lay on me, I didn’t want to end our last night together in this way. I asked her if she felt like going further than ever and kitten said yes. I asked her to get a belt and then tied her hands with it. I started taking her again whilst calling her my slut.

As my very good slut, kitten carried on going. All credit to her, she faced her fears. We both came and afterwards she collapsed onto my chest as I tried to reassure her of how good a kitten she was and how proud of her I was.

Hopefully my kitten will not severely regress whilst away from me physically until we next see each other.

I am so proud of you kitten, and I still love you.

M xxx

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Slut (Weekend part 2)

After we got back from dinner, we lounged around for a while, watching the first bit of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” before heading upstairs so I could shower as I was feeling quite tired by this point. However, I perked up a little when we got to his room and I thought it would be a good idea to pounce on M and tackle him to his bed. Hmm. Seems I forgot how strong M is. Oops. Our little wrestle on the bed didn’t last very long and of course, he came out victorious, pinning me down on my back, legs spread, with his fingers in me, stroking me mercilessly as I gasped and wriggled futilely.

“Hmm so if you’re in charge, why aren’t you making me stop fingering you?” M asked, a little mockingly.

My only answer was to moan a little more and to buck my hips.

“I think you need to be fucked again don’t you?”

I nodded mutely at him.

“Get over here then and ride my cock. Keep your dress on.” Sir withdrew his fingers from me and unbuckled his belt and shorts before lying down on the floor. I lowered myself onto him slowly – my thong had already been taken off sometime earlier and lay discarded in my room – and started fucking him.

“Do you want to be called bad names kitten? Do you? I think I will call you them…slut. My slut.” He thrust into me harder.

“Mine. Nobody else has any hold over you when they call you slut, do they?”

I shook my head hesitantly.

“So if H calls you slut-”

I flinched, badly. I couldn’t help myself. I started shaking and buried my head into M’s shoulder.

“No no no…shhhh…it’s ok, you’re safe. Shhhh…I’m sorry, that was too far…stay with me kitten, stay with me…shhhh….” M’s arms wrapped around me as he tried to soothe me.
“Let’s beat it tonight, shall we, once and for all?” he asked me gently, wiping away a few tears that had escaped my eyes. I sniffled and nodded.

“Ok,” I whispered.

“Ok…go get the belt for me.” M gazed at me compellingly, his eyes soft and understanding, but also determined at the same time. I bit my lip and nodded, climbing off him somewhat awkwardly to find his belt. I returned with it but before he could use it to bind my hands together, I pointed mutely at the packet of tissues next to him. The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly in a soft smile and he nodded, saying “of course kitten”. I took a tissue and used it to wipe my face clean of tears and set it down beside us, taking a deep breath as I did so. I offered my wrists to M without him prompting me and he looped the belt around my hands, securing it so my hands wouldn’t be able to move. He guided me back onto his cock as I placed my hands on the ground next to his head to steady myself.

“My slut…shh…stay with me. Stay with me.” I looked into his eyes as he thrust slowly into me and shut out everything else as best as I could. The flashbacks, the memories, the thoughts…everything. I was M’s. Nothing else mattered.

“Shh…you’re safe with me, aren’t you? You’re my slut and nobody else calling you that is allowed to have any effect on you are they? Not even H. You’re mine. You’re going to ride my cock whilst I call you slut, and you’re going to cum for me whilst I call you slut. Aren’t you?”

“…yes Sir.” It came out as barely a whisper.

“Louder slut…say it like you mean it.”

“Yes Sir! I’m your slut…” I started to bury my head in his neck again but he shook his head and told me firmly to keep my head up. Moving my hands so they were underneath his head, M started fucking me harder and faster, all the while calling me his slut…I whimpered when he came inside of me, plunging his cock into me deeply…

“Carry on riding my cock, slut.”

I started moving my hips as much as I could without falling over as my hands weren’t free to steady myself. Gradually, I started to realise that M calling me slut was turning me on, a lot and that I actually really wanted to cum on his cock whilst he called me slut.

When I finally came, it was explosive. I shuddered, I whimpered, I moaned, I cried. And still, M was calling me slut repeatedly throughout my trembling. As my shaking calmed down, he took the belt off my hands and hugged me to him gently.

“Shhh….there’s my good slut…”

Laying on the bed snuggling afterwards, I felt calm, calmer about being called slut and having the belt used on me than I ever had before. I wasn’t upset or shaken as I had been in the past. I was M’s and therefore the past shouldn’t have any hold over me. M is the only one who can affect me using those two things. Nobody else. I am safe with M. I am His submissive, His kitten, His girl, His sex slave, His slut and whatever else He deems me to be. I am His. I am M’s.

 

N.B. I am sure a lot of you are wondering about the significance of this to me and I shall explain to you, my readers, why this is as M requested I do so.

Last year, one of my exs (called H – my first “Dom” actually) took advantage of me when I was drunk (we weren’t going out and hadn’t been for a long time at that point) and it has left me with scars emotionally. As a result of this, I have associated certain things with him and have become scared of them. Of these, being called “slut” and having a belt used on me to be tied up are two of them.

Since I got together with M and told him about what happened, we have been trying to work together to try and overcome my fears. There have been set backs along the way and every time we have a breakthrough, I always seem to regress a little with time. Therefore in my eyes, what happened this Saturday night is a major development. I no longer flinch when M calls me slut – though how long this will last has yet to be seen. In conquering being called “slut”, I find I am no longer so afraid of the belt. I did after all offer my wrists to be bound willingly to M that night. It has confirmed to me that I truly do trust M – and that every time I get scared of something, it is just a scar of the past and not because I don’t trust M. Previously, I sometimes worried if I really did trust M not to hurt me, as every time we tried to conquer my fears, I would always flinch and panic. I know now that this is more of a reflexive defence mechanism than anything else. As a result of Saturday night, I hope this is the start of a new beginning for me, where I do not flinch away from M irrationally. Saturday night was also the reason behind this post as some may have realised.

That’s all I have to say really…look out for a guest post by M soon – I have requested that he write his version of Saturday night’s events so I can understand his point of view. With his permission, I shall share it with all of you.

Thanks for reading (:

kitten x

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Bittersweet train journey (Weekend part 1)

So I just had the most amazing weekend ever. But as they say, all good things come to an end, and I am on the train home from M’s now. However, my pussy is nice and sore from being filled so much in the last three days, and I am pretty much purring in satisfaction and content.

Here is my account of the weekend. It will be split up into 3 parts most likely as there is too much to tell. However, my memory is a little hazy in places (probably because I have been pushed further than ever before by M, and I still haven’t quite come down from the high yet…), so forgive me if some details seem brief.

On Friday night, M took me hard and fast, making me ride him roughly as we were so desperate to feel each other after five weeks of not seeing each other…after we had both cum, he decided to inspect me properly as I had proposed the idea to him the other day.

He sat me down sideways on his lap and lifted my head up, turning it this way and that, peering at me closely. He said nothing to me, apart from the occasional, barely audible “hmm”s. Trailing his hands down to my neck, he stroked softly for a few moments before pushing me a little to get me to stand up. I could feel his hands stroking my back, going further down before resting on my arse and squeezing a little. Turning me around, he ghosted his hands over my breasts, before taking my nipples in his fingers and pinching them, squeezing my breasts roughly. His hands carried on their journey, skipping over my pussy saying “I shall inspect that properly in a moment” and running down each of my legs instead. After running his hands over every inch of my legs, he returned to my pussy, bidding me to lie down on the bed with my legs spread. As he probed and explored and tasted his bare pussy, I wriggled a little at the sensations.

Finally concluding his inspection, he sat back down on the bed beside me. Hesitantly, I asked what he thought.

“Hmm…you have a beautiful face, especially your pretty eyes. Your breasts are very nice and squeezable. Your legs are just so soft and smooth and your arse is just so spankable. My pussy is so wet and tight for me. I smiled shyly at his praise and cuddled closer to him.

After that, he wanted to try out my new butt plug on me so I obediently bent over the bed and let him push the plug into me, before taking me again…

The next morning, I had the pleasure of waking up to M sliding into bed with me to snuggle me. That morning we made love, gently and softly, whispering our love for each other whilst we moved together, gradually speeding up before those whispers turned to whimpers and then into soft cries of release…

However, I was still quite worked up and wanted more and begged M to let me use the butt plug on myself. He agreed and let me lube up the plug and slide it into myself…I love that feeling of being full. I moaned and whimpered, wriggling around slightly whilst M smirked at me.

“Feel good?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I moaned an affirmative. M promptly turned me over his lap and landed a stinging blow to my butt cheek. I moaned even more at this.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

“I wonder what will happen if I spank here?” I felt my plug being played with and whimpered.

SLAP.

I squealed at the impact as it drove the plug deeper into me momentarily.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

Tugging me upright once more, Sir plunged his fingers into me and started fucking me with them.

“What do you want, kitten?”

“M-may I get myself off on your knee?”

Withdrawing his fingers slowly, he voiced an affirmative.

“Go on then kitten, grind yourself, get yourself off on my knee.”

I whimpered as I did so and moaned when he encouraged me.

“Go on slut, I can see you’re almost there, go on…”

When I finally came, I bucked against his knee and collapsed against him. M gathered me up into his arms and lay me down on his bed, cradling me to his chest, praising me softly.

At some point that morning, Sir also marked me. It wasn’t visible to anyone else but it made me feel so loved and wanted as a submissive…He dipped his fingers into his pussy to get them wet and drew an ‘M’ on it. Repeating the action, he drew on another ‘M’ on the right side of my left breast. He finally drew a third ‘M’ on my forehead, saying that he’d drawn one there because all of my thoughts belong to him as well. I nodded and snuggled closer to him. Then I said “my right boob feels a little left out now” as he had not drawn one there to match my left. He looked me in the eyes and said “I wasn’t drawing on your boob.” Needless to say, I was a little speechless and very touched to hear that he considers my heart to be his…I already knew it of course, but it’s nice to have evidence sometimes ^^ gooey kitten. That definitely merited more snuggles.

We spent the rest of the day pottering around the house and garden, as well as nipping out to the shops to get a few things. We also went out for dinner to a lovely little Thai restaurant and I wore the dress M got for me when he was on holiday in Rhodes 🙂

Now, after dinner when we got back home was interesting… TBC

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